"I to I" Listening Exercise

This is an expansion on the "i to i" listening exercise originated by Bader and Peterson (2012)

The purpose of this "i to i" exercise is to help dyads communicate clearly through uninterrupted sharing, followed by an active listening check. As an expansion to this exercise, I'd then move on to checking what message was communicated, clarify if that was the intended message, and then respond to the message.

1. The Speaker is given extended uninterrupted time (let's say, 20 minutes, depending on the amount of time available) to share something important to them, in great depth and detail.
2. The Listener writes down key words and phrases the Speaker is saying.
3. The Listener does not interrupt the Speaker during these 20 minutes, and only asks "scientific questions" - Objective clarifying questions that have no agenda and are not leading, ie: "By what age would you like to have a child?" "What might be the styles of house you'd like to live in?"
4. The Speaker speaks as if they don't know the Listener; as if the Listener is an objective (not sensationalistic) reporter. So the Speaker talks without acknowledging the Listener's prior knowledge of the Speaker's perspective on the subject. 
5. After 20 minutes of sharing, the Listener says back to the Speaker what they heard the Speaker said, repeating the words and phrases Speaker said. The Listener does this without interpreting or reacting or responding to what the Speaker had said.
6. The Speaker gives feedback as to how accurate they felt the Listener had done in active listening, and tweaks the listening check as needed, ie: "You've got 90% of what I was saying. I'd add this part that was missing in the listening check..."
7. Then, the Listener gets to say what message they heard from the Speaker's sharing: This is stepping back from the words used by the Speaker and listening to the message the Speaker was trying to communicate, and check with the Speaker if that was the intended message.
8. The Speaker can now hear the message the Listener heard and give feedback as to whether or not the message received by the Listener was indeed the message they were trying to communicate.
9. If the intended message was not being heard by the Listener, the Speaker would say, "This is the message I was trying to say: ________...how could I have communicated it differently so you might be able to hear it?"
10. The Listener can give the Speaker examples of what the Speaker could have said that might better communicate the message the Speaker was intending on sharing.
11. After the message has been clarified, the Listener then gets to respond to the Speaker on what was shared.

At this point, the Listener can then become the Speaker and share their response to what the Speaker has said. The first Speaker now becomes the Listener and can repeat the above steps.

The goals are to be able to hear something afresh, clarify the intended message, and then respond to the message - all in a posture of listening, desire to understand and communicating clearly without assumptions, interruptions and accusations being made toward one another.

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