(Post 5)

 

Spiritual Resistance
We looked at our unconscious and resistance in Post # 1. Spiritual Resistance is our unconscious’ way of coping with something we don’t like or are not ready to do, this time, through our “spiritual” beliefs. Christians can untentionally hide behind spiritual sounding “principles” as “reasons” why we are not pro-active in tackling our issues.
 
Some Christians believe that if we went to therapy, we are demonstrating our “lack of faith” for God to supernaturally heal us. Meanwhile, God doesn’t usually supernaturally intervene in our lives, as He has given us a free will, the empowerment of the residing Holy Spirit to help us do our part, as well as other believers, family, friends and therapists to aide us in our life’s journey.
 
For Example:
Brian is an overweight, 42-year-old single unemployed male, who came to therapy with the goals to: lose 40 lbs, find a mate, and to procure a job. He told me at the beginning of the year that God has given him three words for the year: “Weight, Mate and Work.” When I asked him how he was coming along with his therapy goals? He replied that he just has to pray and wait on God to accomplish these goals. He was not willing to do his part of exercising or eating healthy in order to lose weight, or to put himself in situations where he could meet a potential mate, nor to send out resumes to look for a job.
 
Treatment Suggestion:
We can point out to our patients, that many of the Biblical promises are conditional: If we do our part, then God would do His part. Some Biblical references are:  

• “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you” (James 4:7). 

• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:6-9).

I like to share this widely-known analogy with my patients: Once there was a huge rain storm, and a man’s house was flooded with water. He had to climb up to the roof of his house to wait for help. A rescue boat came by and tossed him a rope for him to climb into the boat. The guy refused the rope and told his rescuers that he was waiting for God to save him. Later on, a helicopter came by and threw him a harness for him to strap onto his body for them to air-lift him from the roof. He refused their help, saying that he was waiting for God to save him. As the water continued to rise, the man drowned. When he got to heaven, he complained to God: “Why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “I tried to save you by sending you the rescue boat and the helicopter, but you refused my help!”


God has provided us with modern medicine to heal our ailments. Therapy can be a means to our emotional and psychological healing. If we are willing to take insulin to treat our diabetes, why wouldn’t we utilize therapy to deal with our emotional and psychological issues?

Also, as therapists, we are to “not leave any stone unturned.” This enables us to explore our patient’s unconscious feelings and coping mechanisms. It is therefore a good practice to ask our patient to elaborate on what he means by what he is saying.

So, when a patient uses a spiritual/biblical terminology, we ask him to clarify what his definition might be. This way, we don’t take for granted what our patient means coincides with our definition of the same terminology/ concept.

It is also good to gently challenge our patient with what she is presenting as “spiritual,” in order to decipher whether or not she is using spiritual resistance to avoid doing her part of the work in dealing with life. For example: A patient states that she trusts God will change her husband and his drunken ways, and all she has to do is to love him. Meanwhile, she continues to enable him by cleaning after his alcohol-induced vomit, and puts him to bed “in order to show God’s love” to him. We can introduce the idea of Secondary Gain (Post # 2), and gently ask, “What might be the pros and cons of one having to take care of one’s husband when he is inebriated?” Through this exploration, we can help the patient to realize what she gets out of enabling her husband - all the while using the “biblical principle of showing unconditional love” - as her form of spiritual resistance.

It’s good to ask the patients at the end of the first meeting, what s/he thinks about seeing someone (you, the therapist) who is of the: same/different gender; same/different ethnicity; same faith? While the patient might say s/he has no problem with seeing someone who is different from her/him, we are planting a seed that we are open to hear her/his negative feelings toward us. I usually follow up with the statement, “Please let me know if and when you feel that I don’t quite understand you because of our (gender/ethnic) difference…”